That missing sense of relief.

Something that could have been a good start to a weekend after 2 weeks of numbers and graphs and tables and points and evaluations and more graphs, became an absolute nothing.
I have to admit, I was looking forward to that friday night. I thought that I could at least let go of all this information and education for a while and just, let loose. And even my parents knew that I should, even in the midst of exams, they gave me the permission to go out. But I ended up getting more crap than I already have. Getting more shit than I should. Getting more stress when it was supposed to be the other way around.

Well, simply put, they think I don't deserve it.
I can find a million reasons to contradict that, but I chose not to. Because I do not want to disrupt the peace.
But you did it, my friend. And you did a good job at that too, I'll give you that.
I mean, did it have to come to that extent? Up to a point when I am not even told what's happening even when I ask? Up to a point when I can't even have a decent conversation with any of you? Especially to one which I talk to a lot to. Up to a point where a couple of friends and I have to lie to our other friends just to have a simple cup of teh o ais? And to think I got all this because of simple assumptions. Funny.
What is the world coming to when I can't even go out, even when my parents let me, because of limits set by my own mates? My own band of brothers? The very same people we hang out with and do everything together with. Why has it come down to this?

I get the fact that its all for the best of me and yadayadayada and all that typical shit.
But come on man, the reason why I can't accept this anymore is because its simply too much.
I don't deserve this shit, you think I'm a failure. On what basis? C'mon man I got good grades for my past exams la. I'm just not the type to show it. Unfortunately I don't have a super high CGPA to compare with you guys and I don't get on the dean's list to tell you guys about it. But that doesn't mean that I'm a failure. It's all simple assumptions and accusations. Backed by nothing but mere sayings by people with no evidence whatsoever. If you really wanted to know how I did then come and ask me myself. I'll gladly show my results to you. And I can prove to you that I am not a failure. B B A A is bad to you? nice. So not a failure. Never was, and never will be.

All I'm asking of you people is to just, trust me. Give me at least a little bit of credit. Believe that I can do this. Even with the whole freedom of seeing everyone as it always was, at least believe that I can and I know what's right for me and what I should do. And I certainly don't want ties or bonds to be broken or strained because of something so simple like this. I posted this here because I do not want anything bad to happen should we be talking about this in another situation, place or day.

I'm not asking for much.